The Curse of Imagination

And Answer To Avi Rath Revisited

2012-01-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

A while ago, in September, I started and then abandoned an attempt to rebut Avi Rath's OpEd.

For a while I even felt guilty about this. But, in the end, I stopped. No more feeling guilty.

Possibly, because it was possible to reconcile laziness and guilt. But more probably, because of the recent spate of events between the religious communities and the (ostensibly) non-religious. While I have little belief in the non-religiosity of the latter.

So - can we answer Avi Rath. Can we, indeed, answer any of the quandaries that are now spread before us, unlovely and gaping? Probably not.

Primus Nuntius Ad Aleci

2012-01-05T08:17:00.000-08:00

And what would you have done?
And how would you unsay?
Advice from you, long gone
I need, and you away -
From me and mine went.
Your mind, whence did it go
Your wisdom yet unspent,
Return, I beg you so.

An Answer to Avi Rath

2011-09-15T06:20:00.001-07:00

Mr. Rath has written an article impugning Spencer Tunik's Naked Sea installation. You can find the article in Hebrew here.

Here are my answers, in loco parentis (so to speak) of Mr. Tunik.

First - disclosure. I was registered to participate in the installation but, in the end, had to cancel my participation due to conflicting commitments (a friend's son's birthday).

So here are my answers (or, as the case may be, rebuttals) to Mr. Rath's questions. Mr. Rath's questions are marked - translated by me from Hebrew.

1. What is art and what is pornography? When is a subject romantic, when erotic and when pornographic?

2. Does modesty have a place in the modern world or has it become a thing of the past?

3. Is the human body a thing that is fragile, holy and to be modestly concealed or - conversely - a thing that accrues respect by exposure and flaunting?

To be continued...

The 9/11 Hooplah

2011-09-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

We're coming up to the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

I actually remember the real article quite well. We were running a demo for a prospective MnA prospect, showing off our product, when the video link to the prospect's offices crashed. Then the backup link. And then, one of the system engineering guys came into the demo room and said - "Hey, a plane just crashed into one of the twins in Manhattan. Can you believe that."

So then we rushed to the various news web sites and radios and tellies and whatnots and sat enthralled. Fascinated. I am not sure that we were at all horrified.

And the buildings fell, majestic and inexorable. It was awe-inspiring - a crashing urban iceberg, sooty and fiery, internalexapanding and externalcontracting (apologies to e e c).

And what worthwhile has been done since? Whatever it was (and it was a lot of "done" but little of "worth") - it is to be hoped that the attack, the disaster, the nameless and named bravery and heroism and loss and anguish and terror and survival of various people that morning in Manhattan - will not be further demeaned by a deluge of meaningful words spilled by meaningless politicians of the lesser kind. Forebear, please!

Role Playing Games

2011-09-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

No, no, my naughty friends. Not THAT kind of games.

I sadly miss role playing games. Unluckily, I never did get to play enough - always being pushed into the position of a game master this way or the other.

And so it has happened again - this time on an online/email game. Which was supposed to start. Which never got off the ground. Which stuttered and stuttered and lapsed and languished. And - to prevent the death thereof - I finally volunteered to try to kick into gear.

Anguish and annoyance. But - if you are a Traveler GM and are willing to GM an email-based game, drop me a line and I owe you one.

And what is it with board games. All I want is a simple, reasonable, normal, pleasant place to learn to play go. Near where I live. Say... in Rehovot. Gedera? Heaven's forbid - Mazkeret Batya!? Why not. Why soccer. Why always blasted soccer? Haven't the Jewish people suffered enough? So - to keep up the spirit, if you know of a Go club east of Rehovot, do drop me a line!

M

I came across...

2011-08-30T05:16:00.000-07:00

I came across this. And how sad, how appalled one is to read another's thoughts and fears reflecting one's own. What can be done? What should be done?

If there is indeed no hope to our society, is it not the time to encourage our children, friends, relatives - whoever - to pluck themselves away, to up and go.

I imagine it is.

Indeed, it was with great sadness that I spoke to my eldest about this, encouraging and expressing hope that she will find her future elsewhere. Oh, the heartbreak of it.

How Sad It Is

2011-07-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

How sad it is to agree with an article by Richard Silverstein. Well, with most of it.

How sad it is to see that two murderous border police thugs are getting off scot-free for their off-hand, incidental, by-blow killing of the ten year-old Amir Aramin. How sad it is that our less-than-decisive attorney general, Mr. Weinstein, rather unsurprisingly flinched away from doing what is right in favour of not doing anything. How sad it is that chief justice, Mz. Beinish, lacked the judicial backbone to grab the state by the scruff of the neck and... oh ... discipline it.

How sad. How unsurprising. How unimaginative.

Worse, how sad that one needs to agree with much of what Richard Silverstein writes. Sometimes not with his more sensationalistic "coincidence? I think NOT!" pronouncements (which damage his credibility, were you to ask me. Not that you do!), but the spirit, the anguish, the facts and the sad, sad, sad reality of what we - Israel - have become, under the leadership of... wait! become? were, are! leadership of our junta.

How sad. How unsurprising. How unimaginable.

I Hate Irish Music

2011-06-24T01:28:00.000-07:00

I hate Irish music.

Whenever I hear Irish music - Dubliners, De Denaan, Clancies and Makem, even (gasp) Planxty, memory of Alex darts into my mind. I imagine listening to it with him, laughing.

And when that happens, my mind skips a beat. He never got enough - not enough love from me, not enough appreciation, not enough gratitude. Not even enough memory, recollection. It is too late, much too late, to remember, but neither is it soon enough.

Is there enough forgiveness in me, to forgive me the lack of memory? To forgive the for-grantedness?

I love Irish music. I hate listening to it and remembering, with great relish. It is a memory and a punishment.

רעידת אדמה

2011-02-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

בהצבע דרמטית היום בכנסת, וברוב דחוק, התקבלה הצעת חוק יוצאת דופן ותקדימית בקורות ארצינו הקטנטונת.

את הצעת החוק הובילו חברי הכנסת חנין זועבי ומיכאל בן-ארי. אל השניים הצטרפה בשלב מאוחר יותר חברת הכנסת שלי יחימוביץ'.

במסגרת הצעת החוק המקורית, תוקם וועדה שתחקור את רעידת האדמה בניו זילנד, את סיבות פריצתה, ואת יוזמיה וממניה.

ח"כ זואבי, מעל הדוכן, התיחסה לרעידת האדמה באומרה שהיא (הרעידה, מ.ו.) מהווה נדבך נוסף למזימות הכיבוש הציוני הנפשע. ח"כ בן-ארי, שאמנם זעם על התואר "נפשע", הוסיף ודרש לחקור את מסלול הכסף שאפשר את הרעידה.

לשניים, כאמור, הצטרפה ח"כ יחימוביץ', שדרשה, מצדה, לברר את חלקו של נוחי דנקנר במאורע מעורר הפלצות.

מספסלי הממשלה (שהתנגדה לחוק ללא הצלחה) הגיב שר הבטחון אהוד ברק, באומרו שהרעידה מדגישה את הצורך הדחוף להגדיל את תקציב הבטחון. כמו כן, כך אמר, ידינו הארוכה עוד תשיג את יוזמי ומבצעי הרעידה.

מ

Arduino

2011-02-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

A friend asked me if Arduino is as good as it sounds. One thinks one is the wrong person to ask, since one loves microcontrollers and has played with them (lastly, with the Z8e) for a very long time. So, it is on the side of yes that one errs often.

But the question is Arduino itself. And - having read the article my friend sent me, it is interesting to consider whether Arduino is indeed it.

Recently (about a week and half ago) I have introduced a friend - a complete beginner to the embedded think to Arduino. He (we) went out and bought two Arduino Uno units and two breadboards (courtesy of the Chinese New Year, we are still waiting for one of the Unos and both breadboards, but that is another matter). So - in the meantime, he is playing with the one Uno we do have. And, having thrown a handful of LEDs and resistors at him, he can now play with more lights than just one LED.

The interesting issue is the barrier to entry. It is low. So very low that, in fact, one would be hard tasked to find or imagine a lower set of barriers.

There are, in fact, three parts to the barrier itself. The first part is "embedded think". The second is electronics. And the third is imagination.

The least problematic is "embedded think" - it takes a few quanta of time to tumble to the idea that there are really only the resources there are on the board and shield (if there IS a shield) and that there is no biological lifeform to operate/correct/instruct/intervene when the software goes Britney-Spears. It takes a quanta of time to realize that nothing may block and that stuff may happen asynchronously. And that physical resources (RAM, etc) is... errrr... somewhat limited. No, one should NOT #define BUFSIZ 65536 char buf[BUFSIZ]; or... who knows. I have not tried. But the barrier is low.

The second problem is electronics. It is NOT a trivial problem (e.g. it has a whole new set of concepts for software people, from new measurement units - amperes (milli and whole), ohms, farads (micro, nano and pico) through new things - transistors, resistors, diodes, capacitors, varistors, what not, through new concepts (debouncing, asynchrony, pwm, etc) and even denominations (resistor colours, capacitor markings). There is a pile of stuff to learn. Most people can live without or can acquire slowly. The barrier is also low or can be taken in smaller steps.

The greatest problem is imagination. The argument goes like this - "Ok, I wrote a Blinky. Now WHAT?" Here, I suspect, many people fail. Or do more of same (e.g. Multi-Blinky, Blonky, Blinkety-Blinker, etc). The two previous barriers are so low, that the desire to just "sit down and do" is very hard to resist. It takes time to sit and think what it is that one wants to do. To imagine. To algorithmize and design.

It took us some time to come up with an idea. Seems no one has made one like that before. So - we'll have to make one. It is the first! The Uno (I suspect) does NOT have enough inputs and outputs. None shall pass! Come back and fight, you yellow-bellied bastard! I'll bite yer legs off!

A Follow-Up

2011-02-06T00:49:00.000-08:00

And this is a late follow-up (alas, in Hebrew) to Late Night Surfin.

Late-Night Surfin

2011-02-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

Late night surfing has its weirder sides. Could not sleep and even reading up on the Spanish Civil War did not bring on sleep. So went to surf and think a bit.

Anarchofeminist sites are fun to surf. Not sure how I got there (hey - chain of clicks, people, chain of clicks), but some of the caricatures are quite lovely. Some of the pix (this, too; and this; and this; and I especially like this and this), too. Is it young people. Or is my memory of the poem. Or the Niemoller quote.

For now it is time. The time of the committee on the financing of the left. The time for good people to do nothing. The time for honest people to be too busy to notice. The time for Liberman and his brownshirts to troop through our lives, chanting in unison, stamping in unison, hating in unison.

I think I do prefer imagining this.

Stuff One Needs for R/C

2011-01-29T05:37:00.000-08:00

This is a somewhat different post. It is a list of stuff. Stuff you NEED. To build stuff that flies. Also, to repair stuff that flies. And to repair stuff that breaks when stuff that flies crashes.

Assumptions/Caveats

We're dealing with electrics (mainly, because I understand them better and because this is the fancy that strikes me)
There are going to be many changes on this post as I add additional equipment or materials (you better come here from time to time)
I am listing general use equipment (this will probably not cater to people who need 40S chargers)
I am NOT looking for the cheapest/closest/sexiest/bestest/reasonablest/munchkinestest thingumabob - these are guidelines and examples, find your local stuff in LHS or whatever
Some of the stuff here is what I like (example, Hakko and Fluke), so there

Major caveat - I am not associated or affiliated with Hobby King, Hobby City, Futaba, Blue Bird, Bob Smith Industries, Dremel, Proxxon, Fluke, Hakko, Turnigy or anyone else mentioned in this post. I do not get kickbacks. I do not get sponsorship. I am a user of their stuff. I wish I were being sponsored. I think I use enough epoxy and CA to warra... never mind. Please note that I neither endorse nor "disendorse" specific equipment, I just present convenient options.

First and foremost, to fly ONE plane - one needs:

1 Plane, 1 ESC, 1 Motor, 3-8 Servos, 1-4 Battery Packs, 0-3 SBEC/UBEC, 1-3 Receivers, 1 Transmitter. If you do NOT understand any of the terms above or why there are multiples of anything, please find a trainers/helper. Or ask me, and I shall try to explicate. As for specific recommendations - I have no desire or intent to go into the above. Please select whatever suits your predilection or fancy.

Radio transmitters and receivers are a life-style choice. There are some very nice Futaba, Multiplex, JR, Hitec, etc radios. There are cheap radios. Like cameras, go to an LHS, heft a few in hand and decide. I am a Canon user, by the way.

Next, you need ancillary equipment and this is what we're going to be listing below. Not everything is CRITICAL. Some of the stuff is very very very nice to have, but optional. When I feel I have completed the list, I will mark the optional stuff with (OPTIONAL).

Battery Power:

Battery Charger/Balancer - IMAX B8, HobbyKing ECO8 or HobbyKing Quattro 4x6S
Power Supply for Charger - IMAX Power Supply, 25A 14v DC Power Supply or HobbyKing 600W / 17V Power Supply
Battery Health Monitor - Cellmeter 8, BM-6 Cell Voltage Monitor or Cell-Log 8M Cell Voltage Monitor
LiPo Bag (for Charging) - LiPo Guard Bag
Watt Meter - Watts Up or HobbyKing HK-010 Wattmeter

Tools/Assembly:

Metric Allen/Hex Set - Stanley Hex Key Set 10Pc 1.5-10mm or Wiha Precision 7pc Set
Metric Socket Set - Turnigy 4pcs hex socket driver set
Modeling Knife and Blades - Knife and Blades
Soldering Station - Hakko 936 or Antex 660T (please note, I am not suggesting a regular soldering iron because I am a prig)
Third Hand - Hands free small item holder or Hands free item holder
Needle-Nose Pliers/Long Pliers - 6inch long neck pliers with cutter
Cutter/Snipper - Turnigy Cutter
Z-Bend Pliers - Turnigy Z-Bend Pliers
Rotary Tool - Dremel or Proxxon
Reamer - 0.5-18mm Reamer
Cover Tool - Heat Gun
Tweezers - Tweezer Set 3pc
Wire Bending Tool - Wire Bending Tool
Cutting Mat - Alvin Cutting Mats
Slot Tool - Great Planes Slot Machine
CG Finder - Great Planes CG Machine
Cover Iron - Turnigy Covoring (sic) Film Iron

Measurement Tools:

Tachometer - Turnigy Multi-Blade Micro Tachometer
Anemometer - Turnigy Mini Anemometer
KV/RPM Meter - Hobby King K1 RPM-KV meter
Thermometer - Turnigy Infrared Thermometer
Multimeter - Fluke 177
Servo Tester - Turnigy Servo Tester
Weights - AWS AC-100
Calipers - Hobby King Digital Vernier Calipers
Metal Rulers - Modern School Supplies Non-Skid Steel
Metal Draughtsman Angle - Modern School Supplies X-ACTO L Square

Glues:

Epoxy Paste - Epo Grip Clear Paste
Super Thick/Slow Epoxy - Epo Grip #30
Structural Epoxy - 3M Scotch-Weld Structural Epoxy
30 Minute Epoxy - 30-Minute Epoxy or SLOW-CURE 30 Minute
5 Minute Epoxy - BSI Quick Cure 5-Minute Epoxy
Epoxy Finishing Varnish - BSI Finish Cure 20-Minute Epoxy
Thin CA - BSI SUPER-GOLD Foam Safe CA
Medium Gap-Filling CA - BSI SUPER-GOLD+ Gap Filling Foam Safe CA
Extra Thick CA - BSI MAXI-CURE™ Extra Thick CA
CA Gel - BSI IC-GEL
CA Accelerator - BSI INSTA-SET Foam Safe CA Accelerator
Hot Glue and Gun - Gun
Fibre-Reinforced Tape - 3M 720 Fiber Tape
Blue/Green Loctite - Pacer Z-42 Blue Thread Locking
Red Loctite - BSI IC-LOC Red Permanent Thread Lock
Adhesive Velcro - Polyester Velcro Peel-n-stick adhesive side
Thermal Shrink - Turnigy 3mm Heat Shrink Tube

Field Equipment:

Knee Cushion - Liberator Wedge 24"
Field Box - Tower Hobbies Easy Tote Prebuilt
Field Seat - Turnigy Portable Flight Chair
Wind Sock - Hobby King Scale Airport Windsock

Airplane Pieces:

Temporary END

Sportster in Repair

2010-12-13T20:40:00.001-08:00

A wee bit of good will, a helping hand (my eldest'), some CA, a judicious (or so I think) use of carbon spars and structural epoxy.

My Sportster is being resurrected. I merely need to add another light carbon spar under the right elevator and glue the thing back in place. And replace the motor, but that is quite fine. I have a whole garage of motors.

I did not imagine that the Sportster would fly again. Yet fly it will.

An Interesting Juxtaposition

2010-12-13T20:06:00.000-08:00

Two articles caught my eye, recently. Interestingly, their juxtaposition is suggestive. One is this - I shan't list the title, click through.

The other, on the other hand, is this.

Well, imagine that - how surprising. How delicious. How fresh. And - after all - it has only been... ummm, what? Just under 69 years? Perhaps it is even more. Say - just over 75? Not all that much. Should, in fact, we imagine this as our first step over the precipice? Our second? Fifth? What? How many more?

And - gentle reader - should you try to remember what happened then, then it is quite simple. 15 September 1935 and 20 January 1942 are days that will live in infamy, much more so than that one that came between them.

Do we now add to this list of days? Imagine that.

Sportster RIP (well, crunch)

2010-11-21T21:04:00.000-08:00

My beloved Sportster is crunch. I have yet to decide whether it is RIP or not (prolly not, but then laziness abounds). The how - I flubbed it. Got it between the (very low setting) sun and me, was glared-out, lost orientation and bank and puuuuuled, instead of pushed. From about 8m. With power applied. There were bushes to soften the crunch, but not enough.

Damage - broken in half (except for one longitudinal support). Crunched cowling. I think motor is also unsafe anymore. Alas, poor Sportster, I knew it well, a plane of infinite jest and most excellent fancy.

The interesting tidbit is that that morning another plane (Extra 260) was crunch in my mind and I did not fear crunch, ready to feel it. Yet the Extra did not crunch, but kicked and buckled and was overcome, while my beloved, quiet Sportster was wounded unto crunch.

It is an interesting counter-point.

Yet I mourn not overmuch. Perhaps my acceptance of crunch coloured the actual instantiation of it? On another plane. One that I loved. Chagrin also plays a part, I am sure. Chagrin and pride - for my Sportster was gentle and in my unlearned hands the Extra kicks like a mule and bites like a crocodile. Yet overcome it I did.

So - victory of the imagined triumph over the actual crunch?

Insulting people and killing off groups

2010-11-17T03:15:00.000-08:00

It seems that one has a knack of insulting people.

A young (well, youngISH) gentleman who flies RC planes (with considerably more flair and ability than yours truly) and is a member of our particular set has been deathly insulted by me. For convenience, I shall call him Mr. O. The corollaries and fallout are hilarious and imaginative.

Now the chain of circumstance and causality has been filled with the best of intentions and hopes. It went, more or less, like this:

In our particular flying group - whoever has a birthday, gets an RC model plane as a gift AND a nice dinner.

Ergo, when Mr. O's birthday rolled in, we planned something along those lines.

But - he had a lack of space and was to be moving, so he asked NOT to get a plane.

Ergo, we tried to decide what instead. An idea of sending Mr. O and his life-partner (Mz. H, for convenience) to an introductory Tantra evening was floated. Also, we tried to imagine the expression on Mr. O's face when and if, and it seemed like a semi-nice prank.

Ergo, we tentatively wrote them in and then decided to check acceptance of the idea with the life partner.

Ergo, I called and asked. Mz H, true - somewhat tensely - said that no, this was not very acceptable to her. Fine, sez I, the idea is dead and buried.

But - alas - the idea may have died a premature death, but Mz H was unamused in the extreme and gave Mr O a fine verbal drubbing. The sixth degree thereof, it is to be imagined.

Ergo, Mr. O wanted to kick the cat and called me to so do. Here, I admit to error. Instead of meekly accepting the cat-kicking, I loftily enjoined Mr. O to seek the horned one.

Ergo, Mr. O is fiercely angry (acceptable) and, imagine this - decided to turn this into a "me or him" issue. Him being me and me being him. Not very effective, is it? Childish even. Or, maybe this is as acceptable, but quite counter-productive.

This tore into our particular set. It is not that is has been formally disposed of, but... ummm... it kind of drifted apart, like wet gauze. The next birthday is rolling in (December) and (having returned to the safety of planes) I am trying to imagine what will happen.

On Being an Angel (forgotten)

2010-11-04T10:34:00.000-07:00

Last post, I forgot to get to being an Angel. But I will now.

Apparently - some people consider me an angel. I would post links to their specific opinions, but the links would be in Hebrew and I prefer not to sing my own praises quite so brazenly.

Imagine that, however! People (real people) consider me an angel. A helpful, kind (if in a somewhat rough way) angel. Very very strange. Apparently, if one helps someone a bit, here and now, people will see that as an angelic nature.

Sad, no?

Coming Friday and on being an Angel

2010-10-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

I have a semi-formal bet on Friday - a friend, a colleague, a nemesis and a victim (all rolled into one) has challenged/dared me to getting my Extra 260 into the air.

Now, this Extra 260 is (for a 1.2m-wingspan plane) incredibly overpowered - it has a motor that pulls 800W at WOT (wide-open throttle). I am afraid of it like it were the black death. Compared to it, the Sportster EP (at 1.1m wingspan and 250W) is a docile bovine.

Now, I do imagine that the dare will have to be requited in full. Namely, I will get the Extra into the air. It is OUT of the air that I am not certain that I will get it.

So, then. Where is the pithy moral? Let thy not have friends who dare you to folly and stunts with your Extras!

Another hiatus

2010-10-24T19:59:00.001-07:00

I seem to like to drop off and climb on. Blogus interruptus, so to speak. Well, let's see what has happened since April.

Work. I seem to remember work. More work. Some more work. I am sick from work and I want to rest from it. Pensions sounds just about right. Feed the pigeons in the park. Talk to other pensioners, complaining loudly about the lack of morals in the younger generation. Thank kind of life, sedentary.

On the other hand - I have had some success flying my RC models. Especially the Sportster EP, which I traded for an unbuilt Acromaster. Tremendous fun, not too powerful (under 300W, unless mistaken), takes off easily (even in the disgusting flying environment we have).

Also had the chance to review and comment on a Hacker Model EPP Messerschmitt Bf 109. A small EPP flyer. Alas, I had only a very light motor for it, so it rather lacks pizazz (to quote a friend). But it flies nice and steady with the little 100W job I put on it.

Next in line - reawaken the bigger birds (Senior Telemaster and U Can Do 3D 60). Both are not electric.

Onwards and upwards!

2010-04-23T00:08:00.000-07:00

Watched Checkpoint again today. How wonderful it is to look at a mirror.

This movie is and should be on the compulsory watch list for all. All who believe and all who do not, all who hope and all who have lost it.

But especially by all who lack the imagination to what we have become. We all, I no less than others.

Almost a goodbye

2009-11-30T12:17:00.000-08:00

I shall be switching blog engines soon, away from blogger.com to one of theme-oriented blog sites. In this case, the theme is going to be even more closely related to imagination.

Let's see how many people, if any, will follow.

Will I or won't I

2009-11-26T11:49:00.000-08:00

An interesting traffic accident - a less-than-gentleman slammed his light truck (sideways) into my car and tried to make off. But got written down and then (via traffic police, written up). Damage to our side - rear-view mirror, refueling cap, some scratches. To the car, that is... In the car I was carting two of my models - the trainer and the bigger Yak 54. The trainer suffered a broken tail. which is easy to fix. The Yak got knobbed with the radio case right ahead of the wing and, being aerobatic and therefore composed mainly of air, got broken in half. And uglily. Broken wing supports, broken firewall base, broken belly struts and spars. Ugh.

2009-11-17T01:23:00.000-08:00

Tremendous gap. Too long. Too long.

I am again adrift - the start-up which I hitched with is shortening the head-count and I am one of the "it". This two weeks ago or so.

So - now time to catch up and sum.

Sums - over the last few months: Turkey, Italy, Belgium, France, Germany, Austria, Korea, Spain. I don't remember if anything else. Best is - of course - Caput Mundi. Without it, we would not have been the same - neither the West nor civilization. Urbis Aeterna, indeed.

Sums - Four planes: a Protech Aerosky II, a Dynam Cessna 400 EP, a Yak 54 EP and a self-built (building, rather) Dapron Yak 54. Solo after five flights, perfect three-point. Second solo next flight, landing underturn and broken front wheel strut and firewall. Fifth and sixth, good and good, nothing broken and clean ones. Well - the sixth was close to disaster, really - did not notice that the runway was occupied and landed and landing-taxied right at a friend's plane. Luckily, his was a low "go-fast" machine while mine was a high "go-slow" machine, so my plane's wing passed over HIS fuse and tail with nary a scratch. Could have been very sad and tragic. Much apologies.

Sums - Some shelves. If I have time on my hands, I might as well build some shelves. Which I did. And will do more.

Sums - Plenty of time on my hands, thus can afflict people with my temper and humour. This time, it is a young-one with little though on using other people's photographs for commercial purposes without permission. I offered this gentleman an equitable settlement to quell my ire (i.e. remove photo and donate ILS 500 to the Israeli Society for Autistic Children). He balked. He, therefore, is to get a nice letter from my lawyer regarding same. The Israeli law on intellectual property mug-ups is fairly simple, unless am gravely mistaken. The sprat wanted to sell his (unless am gravely mistaken) Krill Katana 28%, and if I-Ching sticks fall the way I hope, his very nice Katana will be up for grabs.

Sums - looking for work. Archies or Prof Services. Which, in the follow-up of the Belle du Jour self-unmasking, makes one feel someone outcompeted. Imagine that - me and her, professional services.

Sums - have been hitting on all of my friends, contacts, relatives, enemies and past loves - "will work for money!" hard as it is to imagine. Will even sell of some of my toys.

Down the hiatus.

Menin Gate

2009-08-22T15:09:00.000-07:00

Back from Belgium.

All in all, a good trip. Albeit soured slightly by another lawyergram laden with nastiness re our debts, shutdown and so on and forth. Painful and sad. So will let - according to legal advice - let our lawyer deal with it.

While much was work, had time to drive by Ieper and stand under and photograph Menin Gate. Read some of the names. Alas, not listen to the Last Post (had to leave too early). Here is one of the places where "In Flanders' fields, the poppies grow..."

Just had (middle of night) confirmation that can shoot Goldilocks tomorrow. Whooohooo... And in the middle of a re-install of my laptop - the case-sensitive HFS is too much of a pain.

Belgium, troubles and shooting

2009-08-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

I am in Belgium (near Brussels) today, meeting my current employer's technology partners. But I carry the shutdown with me, wherever I go - our debtees (some of them) are grown less and less patient - and well can I understand them. Rather nasty and unfriendly lawyergrams have been flying in our general direction - from Orange, from Bezeq, from one of our ex-subcontractors, the biz adviser, the office renters. Gah.

Sanity? Whence to re-acquire, whence to obtain. I shoot (http://mixerfix.devianart.com). Peculiar stuff, shooting. In any case, currently working on Fairy Tails - Alice in Wonderland and Little Red Something Hood, next oeuvre is Religion and my love thereof.

I have obtained some of the equipment for the Religion shoot - phylacteries and a prayer shawl. Some I will have to make/manufacture (the transparent Burka). Some I need to think of yet.

Germany

2009-07-25T20:30:00.001-07:00

Hmm... As said, I am flying to Germany next week. To Bavaria (near Munich). How one loves Bavaria. The heartland, so to speak. The location of the 1923 failed Putsch.

One is fond of things German - some of their equipment is good indeed, many of their technical achievements were both innovative and cunning, their music transcends their recent past. And yet.

Hiatus longer than expected, bad and good

2009-07-19T20:35:00.001-07:00

Well, well - am back after longer than expected. Long month. I have been somewhat overbusy and overtired. But those are excuses, not reasons.

We're (ex-company) expecting tax returns that should allow us to disburse debts to ex-employees. And - possibly - even to the minor subcontractors. It seems, however, that our primary subcontractor is quite angry and had his lawyer write us a nastygram. Which we had our lawyer answer, and here we have the makings of rigmarole. Sad and demeaning, I think, to both sides. I am not about to judge who is in the right or in the wrong - first, because Swiftouch owes and, second, because I do not like to roll in verbal mud. He (the subcontractor) deserves better and so do I.

But at least I have some time to photograph. Which is spent on executing a project long thought about and long talked about - Fairy Tails. It is NSFW (and NSFC, too), so thought is needed whether I should link to it. It is more than half-way done. And I think it is time to do my opinion on religion. What could happen? A fatwa? A din moser?

Next week Germany becons (Braun Haus, here we come!).

A minor hiatus and Little Red Riding Hood

2009-06-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

A minor hiatus. A number of reasons. All kinds, in fact. Photography. Germans. Work. Turks. Lack of energy and wherewithal. Frenchmen. Deviations. Italians. Ennui. Koreans. Model R/C aircraft ({no,} thanks to some of my co-workers and older friends).

The summer vacation is here, and our eldest is at home, roosting.

Web 2.0 div infinity

2009-06-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

Twitter I have already discarded (as described here).

The next subject for the block (the full article) is Facebook. What is it about? Unlike LinkedIn, unlike Xing, unlike some other professional or hobby-oriented social networking sites, Facebook (and MySpace, but I never played there) seem to be just a random heap of random people, congregating into random and temporary bevvies of happenstance common interest du jour.

It lacks a firm guiding hand (a-la the Kanzler?), it lacks unity of purpose (or even a semblance of it) on the one hand, without gaining the charm of youthful exuberance and energy in return.

So - I played with it a bit longer, mainly on inertia. And now, farewell Facebook.

Car

2009-06-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

As part of the shutdown, my car reverted to the leasing company. I briefly wrestled with indecision (well, not as briefly as normally - too many of my decisions now require more effort than before) and then I found it. The vehicle. My heart's desire. Beautiful. Gleaming. Leather. Chrome. Not new, mind (1994), but hardly used (59,000km on the clock). Cheap, too, comparatively (we are in Israel).

I carted the find to my beloved. The beloved looked at me with sad, wise eyes and said with the intonation of an archangel pronouncing doom on a sinner - "You are not buying a Harley Sportster."

How dare she! Imagine that, preventing me from laying my caressing hands on my heart's desire. Standing between me and my masculinity. Sunderi...

We have, now, a Hyundai Accent 1500, 1999 vintage. Ah, down, imagination, down.

Debt list

2009-06-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

We're close to finalizing our debts list. Not amazing, but also not trivial. Still, unpleasant and shifty as it sounds, one is comforted by the LLC acronym. I feel so guilty and also so relieved to write this.

Revisiting old decisions yet again, I am cognizant of the fact that had I known the amount of paperwork and, especially, time needed to recover some debts from the Social Security (and I shall resist the urge to TLA their name), at least one decision I would have made differently. Apologies, abject apologies, is the only thing I can proffer.

We have only two outstanding invoices and tax paybacks. The latter is what I rather attach some hopes to to reduce some of the debt and maybe spare some time.

Imagine that - me pinning hopes on the IRS.

Web 2.0 div 2

2009-06-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

Facebook and Twitter. I've written about them briefly before.

For the life of me, I do not grok Twitter. Or, rather, I do find the name apt; but the activity is so inane and so... what would be the appropriate word? self-adulatory, that my self-loathing centres are tickled.

Let us try to examine Twitter (Facebook, I am leaving for some later date). Twitter divides us into the poseurs and the peeps. But, since we are the great unwashed democracy, the peeps want to pose and the poseurs want to peep, too. So, every Tom, Dick and Harry are poseur and peep at the same time.

All this, mind, at a time when various pundits toll the dangers of the loss of privacy, retention of publicly available information and Googlephobia. Some, indeed, sound like Gen. Ripper, preaching on the loss of our precious bodily fluids. So - the titillation of posing and the titillation of peeping can be gratified at a stroke of 140 bytes.

So - where do I stand in this. Peep? Most certainly. Love to. Adore. Hope. Seek. So I do. And what find I? Inane self-adulation, intermixed with bed spellung. Could it be that most people are as shallow as I? Pose? Indeed. Indubitably. With passion and readiness. But... what show I? My own inane, momentary thoughts? Ennui? Pique?

Thus -

Down, Twitter, down. Have you no shame
That at a whisper of Pride's name
Or Boredom's, presto! up you raise
Your empty head and stand at gaze?

Poor bombast-screamer, sworn to reach
The masses and effect a breach--
Indifferent what you spew or why,
So lewd that in your breath you lie!

(with many an apology to Mr. Graves)

Complaints and Grievances

2009-05-27T13:53:00.001-07:00

Well, first - this is a title of a George Carlin show. One of them and
one I like quite a lot. Second, and more currently, this is a response to one of my friends.

Who does not like the platform this blog is posted on. Google. While I am quite in agreement - Google is indeed our illustrious leader and we welcome it with humble submission. Why rant and rail? Surely, none of us is a Tank Man.

I was (am) offered a platform on Wordpress.

Should I?

He is gone

2009-05-27T03:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, just as the full moon was rising amid the humid air standing stark and pungent, as dark rainclouds obscured the gibbous form of that unclean hint of madness always hanging over our sins, as my perfervid glee swelled and became turgid with saponaceous hope, it is then that a handsome stranger with locks of hair billowing in the gentle wind, swooped upon and snatched away my beloved yksi. Farewell, dear friend. You served well. You shall serve a different master now.

Ennui and weariness with web 2.0

2009-05-25T20:07:00.000-07:00

Am either old or square or - more likely - both.

For the life of me, I fail to understand what it is that people find in Twitter and Facebook. The two contraptions are geared to provide for two opposite desires which, somehow, become conflated.

The first desire is individuality, creativeness, the expression of self. `Here Am I!` crows the Facebook user. `It Is Me!" squeals the Twitter companion. And yes, a blog, no matter what it is about, is similar. All three web app contraptions provide for the self-congratulatory crowing strut, but Facebook and Twitter do not even allow space to swing an idea. A photo-op of a strut.

The second desire is the herd instinct - `Hey, Joe got himself a Facebook page, I want one too!` or `Mabel is twittering, me also!` And again, blogs also fall into this category, with the same caveat on space and scope.

Ah - I forget! Willey-measuring! `300 people are following me on Twitter!` and `I got 200 friends on Facebook!` are also there. Same with blogs, with the same caveat. I am not sure how to qualify the "365 Project" - a phlog (photo-blog), but it seems that that specific phenomenon has rather abated or even died.

An acquaintance defended Twitter thus - `It allows me to know what the cognoscenti - if they bother - are saying, looking at, watching, doing.` HERD INSTINCT, didn't we already say that?

Mind you, I am still playing with Twitter and Facebook. The latter has been relegated to playing Mafia Wars, an inane game of mouse-clicking. Ennui. The former no useful purpose I can see, since (self-congratulatory is I) herding and measuring are low on the agenda.

Imagination, I give you two more weeks to discover a use for Twitter and Facebook. Or else. Behind the electronic bicycle shed they go, to be electonicly shot.

Sinkhole

2009-05-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

Well, our main owing client paid up - surprise, surprise. Given that the client had a rather awful quarter, that is a nice surprise.

The problem is that the payment is has been swallowed by the state. Most of it, at least. 92% to be precise. This one of the curses of ceasing operation - some payments catch up with you, others will catch up in a few months. Rather unsurprisingly, those that come now are those that one needs to pay. Those that will come later are those that the state needs to pay.

I am almost tempted to vilify our obese government - but that would be both incorrect and irrelevant. It is my government, it was duly elected, it ostensibly represents me and disburses money in a reasonable and studied manner. I will now go was my mind and hands with carbolic soap for writing this.

So - our fairly minor debt is slowly reducing to an even more minor (ach, oxymoron!) magnitude. The problem is that the real and significant reduction will happen only when the state balances its books. In a few months. And then in another twelve. By then, will will have long finished pining for the fjords.

The Juniors Have It

2009-05-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

Good news, everyone! Our ex-personnel (namely non-managers) have all found work, with salaries and perks and so on and so forth.

The bad news - and there is never a lack of such - is that the senior people have a dickens of a time finding any traction in the job market. Our ops will simply not find any, I fear, and the CTO/Dev Manager might have to compromise on seniority beyond her expectations. Which, I am afraid, will strain our friendship. Is straining, truth be told. And the strain is not helped any by our ex-clients suddenly unwilling to pay final payments since - as one told me - "you people are already defunct, so why should I bother."

Alicante and Vienna

2009-05-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

Or - rather - Benidorm and Waidhofen. Trade show at the former and a client workshop at the latter. And, in the meanwhile, the sawing and sewing goes on. Swiftouch's creaking cadaver has another chunk chopped off and turned into fourth rate mince-rat pie.

Alicante's (Benidorm) is nice enough. Did not, of course, have time to see it, but the history of the region is interesting enough. More victims than Guernica, last Republican stronghold, etc...

But the difficult part of the trip is Austria. So much of my humour is based on or skirts the Holocaust. And same goes for my companion on this trip. Yet, of course, here it would be very bad form to mention the unlamented Adolf. Or to complain that a Gasthaus sounds like a Gashaus. Or ask whether they can serve us "Ein Juden-Suppe" or something similar. Great need for self control.

Imagine the chagrin should such a joke escape into the thin air.

A New Continuation

2009-05-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

Well, Swiftouch is now like something Igor might cart in. Without the electricity, either. And I am switched already, to a position in a network security oriented start-up. I am posting this from Costa Blanca, where I attended a trade show. From here, to Vienna. I am going to be the wandering Jew, hei-ho!

What's left behind? The mess. I ran out, towards my new job and new position, leaving behind the mess to be cleaned up, organized and managed by our Ops manager. Yes - she has much better skills (especially organizational skills) to manage the transition from a live company to a dead vilified corpse, all the while managing to "lower the historic avel" and ignore my moans of "haven't the Jewish people suffered enough!?" If anyone did orderly work in our company, that was she. And now she gets the enviable perk of having to don the dastards hat and tell our some debtees that this is the situation and so it shall be managed. I envy her not at all. And I get to traipse all round Europe all the while! Sweet escape.

Debts and debtees

2009-05-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

Shutting down is a two stage process. Three if you count the decision in. Six if you count agonizing before, during and after, but that is besides the point.

But the two stages are (a) shutting down the activities and (b) stopping the machinery. Not actual machinery, mind you - the legal and financial machinery entailed and involved.

We're shutting down reasonably cleanly. Fairly few debts and most of these should be covered by late payments from customers and tax returns. There are two problems with that. Hmmm - another two. Could that two be the magic number for shutting, failing, etc? Very likely! Read this! Highly suggestive! It is indeed such a joy to finally find the explanation to the failure of Swiftouch. The number 2! Imagine THAT!

Now that you have finished with THAT, also read this which shows the meaning of numerology in simple words. But I digress.

So - back to the shutdown. Fairly clean and fairly few debts is, alas, only "fair". It also means that there are debts. And, where there are debts there are also debtees. And chances are some debts will not be covered by us chapter sevening. So - people might be shafted. Few, but nevertheless. This is both saddening and exasperating. And very embarrassing.

At least one of our prospective (well, not prospective, actual) debtees is growing rather angry and disappointed with us. With me. And my heart shrivels with the need to be very controlled, very careful with my words. "The company will comply with the tenets and requirements laid down by law. The company shall make all possible efforts to make good the debts. The company is due various monies." The cadaver speaks - mind-boggling!

I wish it were not so. I wish we were a cleaner-closing operation. I wish I had the firmness of mind to close a month before we did. Perhaps I funked...

Vae victis.

Late Leads and Late Payments

2009-05-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

Alas, we're closed. And I get leads. To new projects. After. Annoying. Very!

So, what to do with these new leads? Obviously, we (Swiftouch) are unable to do useful work on these new leads. But I can spread them around... So I link between the leads and my erstwhile peers and competitors. May they find use and bounty in them.

On the other hand, whenever guilt, regret and dejection visit - I can review the payment behaviour from the client whose project I canned by folding us. They owe us a bit of money for the last stage of the previous project... and... They were late. Again. Wait! Why use past tense. They are late. Two months late. Again. "Lost invoice, mumble, mumble. Documents need signing, mumble, mumble. Resend copy, mumble, mumble" quoth their inimitable purchasing clerk. Never once paid on time, never once not lost invoices.

So - should I have risked more and signed my first-born into chattel slavery, chances are good that I'd be hand-carrying invoices to that pencil-pusher of a purchasing clerk. One does desire the CAPITAL LETTERS ONLY SPEAKER FOR INTERACTIONS WITH THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE, AS WELL AS MENTION OF THE SEVEN AND ONE PUNISHMENTS TO BE VISITED ON THEIR TEN DIMISHED BY TWO GRAND-GRANDPARENTS...

15 somethings of fame, flagellation and guilt

2009-04-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I misquoted Andy W. Not 15 seconds, you pillock, 15 minutes. However, this does give me grounds for hope that the rest of my 14 minutes and 45 seconds are bound to show up some time soon. Real Soon Now, as Mr. Pournelle used to quip.

However, the interview about our shut-down has been published by Mr. Grimland in The Marker. And, surprise! It is a near correct rendition of what I said on the phone. Well, except my name. I have seen my name savaged before, but Mr. Grimland nevertheless made a valiant (and ultimately successful) effort to coin a few more versions of it. But it shall not be held against him.

One wonders when one shall finally let one's decisions rest and stop worrying them in one's mind. Did I make the correct choice? At the correct time? Should I have signed up for another loan? Should I have signed up for spiritual guidance from this or that religious nabob? Should I or shouldn't I have. Could or couldn't? Might or mightn't... Should I have said? Unsaid? Gainsaid? There were many decision, some bigger, some smaller, and the sequence, the cascade of the last six month is already getting difficult to follow.

I said that I would not have changed my decisions, had I to make them again. Is that truth? Bravado? I really hope it is truth. I want to think it is truth.

Let it be truth.

Hige sceal the heardra, heorte the cenre
Mod sceal the mare, the ure maegen lytlath

Liquidation

2009-04-27T09:29:00.001-07:00

Well, we're selling (as I wrote before) bits and pieces of the company equipment to raise SOME money to pay off what we need and have to pay off. Laptops are gone, desktops are gone... Chairs are gone. Cell phones are gone.

What isn't gone? Servers and Macs. These are the hardest to sell, price-wise and emotion-wise. Our wonderful yksi, phandaal and birnam (the servers) and baibalides and turjan (the Macs). It pains me to see them go, but there is no way to get all of that in our home and house. Two of the servers are 4U devices, with a desire to emulate hovercraft. Oh well, farewell, old friends. If they don't get bought, the will have to be chopped into small bits - I think. Company property and all that. Will need to ask the lawyers.

At least the Macs I hope to buy for myself.

Ain't we good

2009-04-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Israel has just celebrated (ok, marked) the Holocaust Remembrance Day. And there were many a mention of how the various states, countries and regions closed their gates to some or all of the Jewry escaping Nazi Germany or (later) Nazi Europe.

And in our here and now, it is imperative that we - the citizens of Israel, a state born and borne out of the Holocaust - must question our state's maltreatment, incarceration, deportation, and quota-setting on refugees from Darfur and Sudan.

There is little hope that questions will arise out of the various Ashkenazi-Orthodox religious communities (which is aswim with hopes of separating itself from all but the state's financial teat and living in a utopic autarky) or the Mizrahi-Orthodox religious communities (which want the financial teat on the one hand and to impose its bastardized version of faith on all and sundry, as long as these sundry do not polute their communities, on the other).

There is little hope that questions will arise from the non-Orthodox religious communities, for they are more intent on trying to prove they are really good religious Jews and merit being seen as such.

I hope that the questions will come from Tel-Aviv and similar (few) centres of depraved sanity.

Officer, Officeeeer!

2009-04-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

Came across this (http://www.notes.co.il/gross/55316.asp). Note the man in the yellow shirt, the one shouting.

Imagine this happening in such close proximity to the 20th of April. One is fairly certain that no one on the Israeli side of the fence is either aware or caring of the significance of this date.

While I am indeed tempted to dive into the argument pro and con the security fence, pro and con the Bil'in and Ni'lin demonstrations and so on, I am more saddened by us, by our propensity to shoot, main, kill, all the while claiming the moral high ground.

Watch the footage and assume the moral high ground, I dare you.

My State Doth Lie In State

Our duce struts upon the balcony,
What joy it is to hear his voice again,
Virile and manly, carrying and brave
Extolling our good boys, by evil slain.
Yet slaying evil, oh - they too become
Slack images of flame, idly dancing,
Some lying blackened on burnt-out hulks,
Some on the hands of prisoners prancing;
And at the roadblock, they can exercise
Their pure urges on the locals' backs
As these poor wretches stand in snaking lines
Shifting and hefting their old patchy sacks.
Some, in those very sacks, carry but bread
Yet others, rusty nails stuck in TNT
High hopes of heaven, virgin thighs in sight
Finger asweat on switch, minds on deity.

15 seconds

2009-04-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

So it takes a shutdown to gain what Andy W said is the prerogative of every man, woman and child. I mean my 15 seconds of fame. Ah - yes, I've had mine now. Some bloke from The Marker came to interview me. I mean, not came. Phoned! My 15 seconds phoned me.

Shutdown is proceeding. Lawyer gave an order to the list of debtors to pay off - employees, state, office leasers and then the rest of the unluckies. Luckily, our debts are low enough and should be covered by payments coming in post operations' end. Unless people who owe us welsh on payments. In which case, we'll go down with debts. Which I hope will not happen.

We're also selling off equipment - servers, desktops, laptops, chairs, binders, stuff. And if anyone wants to buy a very smart cat, please tell me.

There is no conclusion to this post, as Mr. Carlin used to say.

Some MORE time and catching up

2009-04-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

Imagine that! I have time. Surely only until the yoke is laid gently or less so on my shoulders, hopefully not in the too distant future, but until then, I have time. Some time, not a lot, and some of that is spent on doing the lawyer dance (defenestration, etc)...

Alas, Ferrari did not even come in the points in China, so there is no consolation. This is so annoying that, for a few moments, it overshadows other issues. But for moments only. Come on, people! A competitive car! Build one!

So - whither now? I have a few leads for jobs, will need to talk to the companies. The market is tanked, but let us see what can be had.

As a function of more time, now I can dive and immerse myself in various Web 2 stuff. Facebook. Twitter. I need to put in pictures. Will, in fact. Now. Hohoho, le us indulge!

More Time

2009-04-18T14:54:00.000-07:00

I think the poem most apt for the last 4-5 months is:

Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Cloudless day,
Night, and a cloudless day;
Yet the huge storm will burst upon their heads one day
From a bitter sky.

(from Counting the Beats by R. Graves).

Yes, I know, it is a love poem. And it is love I am talking about here. The crew, we - I think we loved the company. And each other. Ah - what pity we could not apply a Wheedonesque solution to the stick-in-spokes person.

Reactions, Equipment and WTF is it with Ferrari

2009-04-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

Well, we've (I've) been getting reactions from my peers and other people. Most (all, so far, in fact) of the reactions were full of sympathy and commiseration. Some have been magnanimous enough to mention some of our deeds which merit good karma. To all my peers, friends and co-operators in activities (and I do not consider them as pure competitors, even those who worked fields similar to ours) - many thanks.

So - what now? No idea. I am looking for a position to fit my predilections. No idea what it may be yet. I will have time to read Martialis again.

We are selling off equipment, mainly to be sure we have the wherewithal to pay off the maf... government. Interesting process, this, especially for me, who has, in the past, bought equipment off companies shutting down. Perspective is lovely. Luckily, in our case, we have not yet seen the uglier sides of this kind of purchase - people trying to buy by weight lots or similar. I hope this does not come to pass...

But what is worrying me is what is it with Ferrari this season? Can't you people get your car to be competitive. Yes - last year was a close call to that unspeakable liar of an Englishman, but this year? Please? Let Raikkonen have a fast car, please!!! Ah yes - this is my spectator sport vice. Formula One, Finnish drivers. Or Brasilian. Of course, there is no one to measure up to Senna.

Relief

2009-04-15T08:07:00.000-07:00

Imagine that. We (my company) are shutting down. I had to fire the personnel. Next week I'll deal with the legal sides of the shutdown, get a checklist of things to do from our lawyer... I really hope that Raikkonen will win the China GP to make the pill easier to swallow. But I feel relief, mainly. Relief from the stress, from the uncertainty, from the helplessness to influence the events.

'Tis rightly said -

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.

(from Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde)

I killed our company and I feel relief.

Responsibility

2009-04-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

A (kind-hearted) reader commented that I am harsh on myself. Ed, thank you.

But, in the final or semi-final analysis of the situation leading up to and resulting in... I was (on our side) the final decision maker, the shot-caller. So - the responsibility is mine. And the fault is mine. What good would it do, what purpose be served, were I to inveigle against this or that person - "'Tis them, not me! I am perfect!" That would be false.

I need to learn and will learn from this defenestration. I also need and will help my people - hopefully (almost certain, in fact), the kernel guy will be offered a position. I am trying to find a position for the integrator, too... Less simple, but there is hope to be had. The seniors, we shall survive, 'tis the file and rank that need help. In this I must not fail, that would be unimaginable.

Failures and Failures

2009-04-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things fail. Hardware fails. Software fails. When such unspeakables happen, I can usually understand or try to. When people fail, even then I can understand or try to.

There is a difficulty when "something" fails and - for the life of me - I cannot understand what. Is it I? Possible. Is it them? Also possible. Is it us? I have no idea. Possible. For the last, what - four months, six? - I've been nursing a project kick-off. Through adversity, through difficulties, through heart-ache and -break, through dejection and ebullience. My team - they put their shoulder to the wheel, they heaved and strained, they toted the barge and they lifted the bale. And... we ran out of time before the thing came in. Yes, there was some stick-in-spokes work done from a source within the project's client, but that is neither an excuse nor a reason.

And through it all, I kept running the scenarios through my head, imagining and inventing how to nurse the team through it. How to wheedle a little time out of whoever peddles time around here. How to wheedle a little breath out of whoever peddles air around here. And, in the end, I did not imagine enough, I failed my people, I failed my team. They merited more and I failed them.

There is - alas - no sharp and punny point to this. Just a sense of responsibility and disappointment and despair.

And what can I say to the stick-in-spokes hero of this project? This comes to mind.

Puns

2009-03-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

Puns may be indeed the lowest form of wit (and who am I to gainsay the great lexicographer), but I like puns.

And, having had some time to write a little bit over the last week, I could not forebear from punning.

brisk or slow, hot, cold
my good right hand pumps
take no ko

Concentration

2009-03-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

It is the end of the month, or almost so. Interesting that my posts (in this and in in previous blogs, ones discarded and forgotten) are concentrated to the end of the month. Or, perhaps, it is because this end of month coincides with a weekend of a rather annoying week. So - perhaps it is just happenstance.

Time and Time

2009-03-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

Robert Graves had it right.

As time slips away, awaiting a decision - both personal and other peoples' becomes so intolerable it is almost palpable. The inexorable dum-dum-dum of Lovecraftian music, heard only be self. The unremitting thump-thump-thump of a pulse almost not one's own. The click-click-click of drumming fingernails of a ghost hand.

So counting the beats sit I, waiting for the clock hands to align on 18:30, the limit set to a decision and pull out of a project. Yes, we worked with the client. Yes, we have a proper statement of work. Yes, we even have a clear and milestoned plan. So where's the rub? Ah - quite simple. We did not imagine enough!

We did not imagine that in a multinational, the commercial division would handicap a project worked on and agreed on by some 10 people for four months. I did not imagine that I would ever have an irregular adjective applied to myself.

Just goes to show.

Well, imagine that - we're pulling the plug on the project and, probably, pulling the plug on ourselves.

Triumph des Willens!

Economic downturn

2009-02-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

The economic downturn certainly provides ample grounds for oh so vivid daydreams and fears. What could be worse (in employment context, thank you, please don't think elsewhere) than imagining sitting across the table from an employee, smiling sadly, and telling him or her that it is not their fault, it is not my fault, it is not anyone's fault. It is just that the economy is tanking and we're retrenching. We're reducing headcount. We're surviving.

We may be surviving (though, all in itself, that is also a no mean feat of the imagination) but the employee?

Bits and Pieces, Parts and Organs

2009-02-05T21:00:00.000-08:00

Well, well...

It is sad that not one of the parties engaged in the pre-election campaigning has the needed courage to address the double issue of organ transplants and civic participation.

Civic participation all in itself is a thorny issue. It is low, here and now (credit to H. Beam Piper for the phrase). The low levels can be seen in such diverse areas as reserve duty service, primary military service, civic service in lieu, etc. But let us agree, readily - military and in lieu service are not only a question of service but also a question of the willingness to serve a world-view. This I am not going to argue.

But another issue which touches on participation, civic or other, is that of organ donations and reception. Recently, a boy (Anwar Abu Arar) was killed in a traffic accident and his organs were donated by his family (link here).

So far, so admirable.

The recipients were Arab and Jewish. So far, so admirable.

One of the recipients was a girl who received the heart and lungs, after being on the waiting list for a year. So for, so admirable.

And then, the girl's father went on record thus. Well, at least his candour is admirable.

Why, any party with a shred of courage and a shred of imagination should have spent its time TV campaigning time simply playing the father's words in a loop. Just a loop. The words speak for themselves and - alas - describe the segment of population in question beyond all need for imagination.

Donate organs, people. You and your beloveds are no longer using them when the question arises.

Smoke Rising Jokes

2009-02-04T04:46:00.000-08:00

We (the locals, Israelis) are having elections. In a few days - on the 11th of February - the results shall be known, who won, lost, did neither and - most importantly for the climbers of the greasy pole - in what proportion.

I have no intention to exhort in favour of this or that party. Each has its points, some more and some less personally repugnant to me.

But parties are fun. All are. But while all parties are created equal, some are more equal than others. Let us be gentle, some are downright peculiar. The "Holocaust Victims and Cannabis Legalization" (HVCL) party is surely one of the more surrealistic ones.

The off-colour jokes that one can think of are... well, not limitless, but cover a broad stretch of ground. Why not call them "The High Ka-Tzetniks"? Or - "What would happen if the party electorate were to be put in krematoria? The people of Krakow would have one HELL of a weekend!" "What do the the HVCL members have tattood on their wrists? The dealer's cell number!"...

I think I should stop.

Imagination, cursed imagination

2009-01-29T05:21:00.000-08:00

Browsing for news of the latest Gaza attack the other day, a phrase caught my eye. "I love you." In the news? Main page news? Associated Press and love? Why! Imagine THAT, must be really juicy!

And! It is a link. A link entices, so I clicked.

How I wish I could unclick, undo, ungo.

It is a short piece, about a Riley Ann Sawyers (and I will not provide a link, lest you too click away unthinking)... Search for it if you must, but please don't, if you would heed my advice.

I read the piece and I reread the piece and I reread the piece. I had to reread it a few times, piecing bits and parts together in my mind, since I could not read it all at once through spectacles aswim.

"I love you" is what she said.

Home I ran, to hug and tickle and toss in the air my little one. To inhale her scent, to hear her laughter, to feel her hands on my neck as she hugged me - for the imagination is stronger than memory, it seems, and it overwhelmed my recollection of all of my little one.

Cursed imagination.